Archives for posts with tag: Humour

Our boy, AKA ‘The Pok’, has started to say some really funny things with the reasoning of a 3-year-old behind his musings. Some of it is hilarious, or just bizarre.

He delivered a double whammy when he came with me to the hospital to see his mother and baby sister for the first time.

I could tell he was nervous with anticipation because instead of being a chatterbox like normal he traveled in the car in stunned silence. I told him, “[Pok] you know that when we get to the hospital that the baby might be asleep, and Mummy is very tired.”

He nodded and held my hand as we walked into the birth centre.

His face lit up when he saw his mummy and he was in awe upon seeing his baby sister. He then instructed all of us to talk softly so as not to wake the baby up.

When one of the midwives came into the room to check up on my wife and baby girl, I left the room to refill a glass of ice water and reheat the hot water pack. On the way back to the room all the midwives were having a chuckle and I soon found out why.

My wife proceeded to tell me…

When the midwife entered she started to talk with my wife about her medication requirements.

At that point The Pok propped up and told her, “You need to be quiet because my baby sister is asleep!”

My wife was in stitches and told her, “I think that you have just been schooled by a 3 year old.”

The midwife turned to The Pok and contritely replied, “I am sorry, I was using my outside voice” proceeding to lower the tone of her voice and continue the conversation. She turned to my wife and said, “If you don’t mind I think I need to tell my colleagues about your son.”

Later on, during this hospital visit my boy asked the question that we had both not been keen to answer all the way through the pregnancy.

“Mummy, how did the baby get out?”

I had to jump in quickly to cut it off at the pass.

“[Pok], I think that the baby crawled out.”

My wife added quickly…

“And I gave her a little push.”

He thought about both answers and this seemed to satisfy his curiosity.

If he was going ask where the baby came out, then our bottled response was for him to ask his teachers at preschool…

Little_Miss_0016

Our boy, AKA ‘The Pok’, has started to say some really funny things with the reasoning of a 3-year-old behind his musings. Some of it is hilarious, or just bizarre.

Of late ‘The Pok’ has been getting quite stubborn in his morning routine. It has become quite a struggle getting him to the breakfast table, dressed, teeth brushed, and out the door. This exchange went down a couple of days ago.

Father of The Pok: “[Pok] come down stairs please and eat your breakfast.”

The Pok: “I am playing with my Lego”

… 5 minutes later

Father of The Pok: “Come downstairs now, we are going to be late!”

… 10 minutes later

Father of The Pok: “Hurry up and finish your breakfast, we are going to be late.”

The Pok: “I don’t want to finish” – [insert The Pok angry face]

… 5 minutes later

Father of The Pok: “Wash your hands please and come upstairs to get dressed.”

The Pok: [insert tumbleweeds, and The Pok running off to play with more Lego downstairs]

Father of The Pok: [insert great frustration] “If you don’t start listening to Daddy then I am going to put you on eBay”

The Pok: [instant attention directed to his father] “Awww, I don’t want to go on eBay”, an upset look on his face, but he proceeded to listen and get dressed.

10 minutes later we finally got out the door.

pok_ebay

P.S. Yes I am a bad parent, but he is a child of the internet and he doesn’t understand what putting him up for adoption means.

P.P.S. He uses his cute looks, and smiles, to try and mentally manipulate us. We are trying hard to resist.

P.P.P.S. eBay’s terms and conditions don’t allow me to post him for auction. I explored ‘buy it now’ but it would seem that these same conditions extend to direct item sales too.

Our boy, AKA ‘The Pok’, has started to say some really funny things with the reasoning of a 3-year-old behind his musings. Some of it is hilarious, or just bizarre.

With The Pok having relatives in several places around the world, he has grown up very much used to the idea of communicating by Skype. In fact, he quite often asks to talk to family members on the computer when there is not enough action in his immediate locale. Returning home a few night’s ago, The Pok asked his mother to speak to his cousins on the computer.

As my wife walked off to the kitchen she said to him, “We don’t have to switch on the computer, we just have to wake it up.”

The Pok rushed off to jump in front of the computer.

Moments later, we heard him shouting something incomprehensible repeatedly. Concerned my wife went to see what was the matter.

There he was sitting in the chair shouting at the computer. My wife asked, “[Pok] what are you doing?”

His response, “I am trying to wake up the computer.”

My wife shook her head and said, “You just have to move the mouse.”

The Pok and his cousins were able to host their Skype video conference at a safe volume.

pok-computer_sleeping

Our boy, AKA ‘The Pok’, has started to say some really funny things with the reasoning of a 3-year-old behind his musings. Some of it is hilarious, or just bizarre.

So the weekend had arrived and The Pok and I were treating ourselves to another episode of the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, when he suddenly burst out and said “Mickey has a baby!”

I responded, “Really, who is Mickey’s baby?”, knowing full well that no character in this cartoon was the offspring of the mouse.

Pause for thinking… “Mickey has a baby in his tummy.” – oh dear, where is this going with a 3-year-old.

Correcting him I said, “Mickey is a boy like you and me, he can’t have a baby in his tummy.”

This very much puzzled the Pok, with a confused look descending. Then he shot up spiritedly and announced, “Minnie Mouse has Mickey in her tummy!”

I tried to quickly divert this conversation, “Minnie Mouse is not Mickey’s mummy, she is Mickey’s friend. Hey look, what is Goofy doing?”

He burst into laughter at Goofy being goofy, conversation avoided.

I was not anticipating having a conversation about the “birds and the bees” while watching an episode of Mickey Mouse, particularly with a 3-year-old. And every adult knows that Minnie Mouse is Mickey’s special friend…

Pok_MM_Baby

 

 

Our boy, AKA ‘The Pok’, has started to say some really funny things with the reasoning of a 3 year old behind his musings. Some of it is hilarious, or just bizarre.

Last week as we sat down to the normal routine of a weekday breakfast, my wife, the Pok, and I loaded up our breakfast bowls at the table. I had cereal and milk, The Pok had his favourite cereal with yoghurt, and my wife had served herself some toast which she intended douse with a topping of honey. In my infinite wisdom (and to deter the ants of Summer) I put the bottle of honey in the fridge. My wisdom did not extend to cover the effect that the cold had on the viscosity of the honey itself – cold and not runny at all.

So as my wife turned the bottle upside to squeeze the honey out, what should have been a simple toast dressing turned into a squeezing ordeal. Each squeeze of the bottle produced only a few drops and my wife had to squeeze more than 10 times to get the minimum acceptable amount to cover her toast. Normally this amount of squeezing would have produced far too much honey.

The Pok looked at her disapprovingly and said “Do you think you have got enough yet?”

We burst out laughing at his first attempt at reverse parenting.

Pok_Honey

It has been a while since my three brothers and I have been in the same city for Christmas. My youngest bro lives in Toronto, Canada. My second youngest bro lives in Melbourne, Australia, and first brother and I both live in Sydney (I am the eldest, smartest, wisest, etc. of my four brothers – eldest rights… we are not competitive…). This year we will all be in Sydney, with my youngest bro flying in today with his wife. I have been looking for an excuse to post this photo, he is the one of the left.

Nano_is_coming

Let the brotherly shenanigans begin, here is to some good times in the next few weeks.

A colleague of mine at work, who is not a cyclist, wanted to understand how I could sit on a bike for hours at a time with my mates doing the same. He doesn’t understand my (and all other cyclist’s) two wheel passion. I don’t mind that as he is passionate about different sports and activities and we share a common passion of seeing our boys do activities. But when he asked what we talk about when I go for a ride, that got me thinking.

Even when riding in a group I spend a lot of time concentrating on… well riding. Am I breathing right, am I pushing myself enough, what is coming up next on the road or trail, are there other obstacles that could come from left field and cause me troubles. But invariably there are times when the route is long and flat and you simply have to stay upright and it gives you the opportunity to have a chat. Quite often we are giving each other a heads up or instructions on what is ahead or an obstacle / pothole. We push each other by saying things like “time to hit this hill”, or “there is a Strava segment ahead that I am going to go for.” Invariably I am catching up on what has been going down with my mates. Usually there is a funny story or three, and lots of stuff to basically catch up on.

And the tall stories are sometimes quite humorous. My brother and his crew down in Melbourne who I always try to ride with every opportunity I can are hilarious. There is always a clanger that comes out and when he spoke to me earlier in the week and told me what happened last weekend I was nearly crying in laughter. It has been quite cold of recent months (being Winter and all) and there has been a bit winter clothing fashion parade going on with new gear on show. The response is usually of admiration to a cool new piece of clothing, jacket, or something skin tight that could keep a body warm at minus 10 degrees Celsius. But when one of the crew (who I shall not name) had forgotten to wash his thermal bib-tights rocked up in colourful knee high woolen socks along with his regular bib shorts – it was on. The banter quickly turned to teasing and ribbing for said cyclist’s fashion sense. The punchline was when he was appointed the title of Liberace (I am sure that if Liberace were still alive that he would have been mortified to have been associated with this crime against lycra). But the joke that had me coiled over in laughter was that they dished out a further name appointment and decided as a group that from that point his bike would be known as the “Candelabra”.

That’s right, not “Cancellara” – but “Candelabra”!

No doubt the resemblance between the two items, bike frame and candelabra, will resonate for years to come.

So yes, we cyclists might go for many long moments in silence just hammering on the pedals. But when we chat – it sometimes produces hilarity. As for our riding mate… it is going to be difficult for him to shake the moniker and there is absolutely no chance of the bike losing its new name.

%d bloggers like this: