One of my old school mates coined a phrase at a poker night that he was at the bottom of the remote control hierarchy. In most regular people’s home life, this is the only pecking order that really matters. And so it is that I too find myself at the bottom of this hierarchy. But I take solace in the fact that I am not the only one.

Jens Voigt was once quoted as saying – “In the hierarchy of the family, I am just above the dog. But I like it that way.” Now he is in a very different situation to me in that he is happily married with five kids and the family dog. Me happily married, one kid (who eats enough for five), and no dog (Pok would eat his food too).

In a side note to the main topic, the Jensie (as Jens Voigt is affectionately known) also has plenty of other quotes in his ever growing repertoire. These include:

  • “Having things organized is for small-minded people. Genius controls chaos”,
  • “If you go (with a break in a cycling road race), you can either win or not win. If you don’t go for it, you definitely won’t win”,
  • “I get paid to hurt other people, how good is that?”, and
  • His most famous quote – Shut up legs! Do what I tell you to do”.

For those who don’t know the Jensie – he is a twitter legend amongst cycling fans and some people reckon that in a bout between the Jensie and Chuck Norris, Walker Texas Ranger would go down! I would really like to live in his head one day, there is some funny stuff going on in there. And if you want to see how tough he is, this is horrific:

But some of the comments about him are hilarious, like – ‘Jens Voigt crashed spectacularly during the 2009 Tour de France. The resulting impact created a mound of earth that is visible to this day. It is called “Col du Tourmalet”‘. It doesn’t hurt that he is a tough as nails, clean, and hard rider who always has time for his fans. But the true mark of the Jensie is captured in this story and you can see why we all love him – A Gift from Jens.

Anyway, back to the hierarchy. Little Pok woke up during the night a few weeks back. As is customary he came charging into the lounge room, with a grip on his pillow in one hand bottle of milk in the other. I was sprawled out on the sofa watching some late night news about to go to bed, and he came up to me and said two words “Mickey Mouse”. BOOM – I was relegated to the bottom of the remote control hierarchy. This happens on a regular basis, whether it is first thing in the morning, when I get back home from work, or late at night when he is restless. The hierarchy as it stands now is somewhat close to:

But you see the hierarchy extends to other aspects of the household as well. Food is the first one that comes to mind, because it appears that my plate and its contents is up for grabs for all higher ranking members. I can’t have my breakfast without Pok coming over to me with those big eyes saying “Daddy, my have some. My have more please Daddy.” What can I say, I am a sucker. Travel hauling is another, where all luggage is carried by me – AKA Sherpa Tenzig, though this one can safely be argued that this is my job. Cycling is probably the other, when we are all out on wheels – I am the rickshaw man. As for the real estate of my bed I was already on a bad wicket before the Pok arrived, now whenever he wakes up in the night and comes into our bed I find myself sleeping with a foot in my face on about 20cm of width at the edge of the mattress.

I suppose like the Jensie, I rest content with my lot. I accept my fate in the knowledge that any (potential) additions to the brood will move me further downward in the standings, and there is really no hope for a reversal in the RC leaderboard. I would just like to, once in a while, switch on the Playstation and shoot something without the possibility of Thomas the Tank Engine or the Food Channel displacing my viewing pleasure.

I guess this is how the RC elite roll. A ride this weekend I think, then perhaps a spot of photography. We shall see – good weekend to all, it has been an eventful week!